Suboxone is Keeping Me Strong
Vacation is hard. That’s right, you heard me - vacation is hard.
I’m back in my hometown in South Florida, and temptation lurks around every corner. Nine months going strong in my recovery, and I take one trip away from home and suddenly I’m thinking of what great opportunities I’ll have to look through the medicine cabinets of my parent’s friends, and that I’ve been so good for so long- just a little “partying” won’t hurt, right? Embarrassing but true, I did let my mind go there. Old habits die hard, huh?
One of my blogging-buddies, Greybeard, left a comment at my blog that perfectly sums up this strange phenomenon:
For whatever reason I think humans believe that when they go out of town they get a free pass or something. I’ve experienced the same thoughts that you describe in past recovery lives. That’s probably why those “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” adds were so successful. They reinforced that adolescent notion that most of us already want to believe. What a crazy delusion.
He’s absolutely correct; it is a crazy delusion. We don’t get a “free pass” just because we’re on vacation. In fact, I need to work even harder right now. I’m away from my familiar routines and my support network and I’m around a group of people who really know how to push my proverbial buttons - my family.
So today I’m really appreciating one of Suboxone’s unique features - the blocking effect it has against other opiates. Usually I don’t even think about this aspect of Suboxone, because it suppresses cravings so well. But the past few days, stressed out and out of my element, I have had a few cravings. And even as I was experiencing the urge to use or a little fantasy about just how I might get some pills while on vacation, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to get high anyway, because the Suboxone would block the effects of any other opiates I took.
Knowing that I can’t get high helped short-circut my little daydream about taking a vacation from my recovery. I was able to bring my thoughts back under control and remind myself of the negative consequences of using opiates as well as all the postive changes I’ve made in my life since starting Suboxone treatment. I also realized that those thoughts about using were warning flags my brain was waving to let me know I need to pay attention to my recovery process, even while I’m on vacation. Especially when I’m on vacation.
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August 3rd, 2008 at 8:19 am
It’s like our addiction sits and waits. No matter how long we are in recovery it waits. Once it sees a moment where we may have our guard down a little… it takes full advantage.
What you did right was to develop good coping skills. These allowed you to not only spot your addiction perking up again, but to push it back down again.
It’s work, but you can handle it.
August 14th, 2008 at 12:10 am
“cunning,baffling,powerful”…AND PATIENT!!!!thats the best definition of addiction..I too have found myself totally relying on the fact that I won”t get high anyway..But,my disease has really been screwing w/me lately,telling me “OK,not going to get off on any opiates,lets try something else…”HELP…Has anyone else had similar thoughts?I HAVE to stay clean-at 53yrs.old-I don’t have another recovery in me,and I’m terrified….
September 26th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
today is the firs day on the suboxone i cant belive how good i feel 45 min after the dr dosed me it was amazing how can a little pill make me feel normal again. so many thoughts rtun through my head all i want is to be a mother and a wife again i hate my self for what i became will that ever go away?