Opiate Detox is Bad for Relationships
The other day I posted about how relationships can hurt opiate detox. You get too involved in the relationship and stop focusing on what you need to do to get better and end up relapsing. Or you break up and you end up relapsing. Not good. Specifically, not good for the detox and your dependence on drug use in general.
But someone pointed out to me that it’s not just the opiate detox that suffers; it’s the relationship, too. Very true. Ever been an addict in a relationship whether or not that person was an addict, too? Ever been with someone who was an addict, whether or not you were, too? Well, then you know.
New Relationships and Opiate Detox
Maybe you meet each other at a meeting. Or maybe this is someone you knew when you were actively using, and you run into each other and realize you’re both doing good at the same time. Either way, there’s an attraction, a spark. You decide to follow through. Maybe not overtly, like no one formally asks the other one out. But you end up hanging out, getting coffee, whatever. And soon it’s clear that there’s a romance happening.
The amount of clean time that either person has may or may not be a factor, since people who have been clean for five or 15 years may relapse behind a relationship just like anyone else. If you’re new to recovery and still in the opiate detox stages of your treatment, this is all pretty new. The emotional stress associated with a relationship may be too much to handle. Conversely, if your new partner is more firmly grounded in recovery, he or she may be something of an inspiration if not a guide.
Old Relationships and Opiate Detox
Maybe you two used to use together, and now want to get clean together. Maybe your partner never really got loaded and you’re getting clean on your own. Either way, your choice to go through opiate detox has to be one that you make for yourself because, invariably, no matter how much you love your partner, he or she is going to piss you off. There will be stress. Plus, more than likely, your partner won’t be shy about letting you know—repeatedly—everything you did to hurt him or her while you were using. It can be discouraging, but during opiate detox, it may also feel like the safest port available to you.
Your Lover is Not Your Doctor
Or your sponsor. Or your shrink. Or your priest. Or your parent. It’s hard to find the line of appropriate emotional sharing, especially when both opiate detox and a new relationship present you with such raw unfamiliar emotions. Do you just not tell your partner when you feel like picking up? What if you go to the same meetings? Know the same people? Will your partner’s response trigger resentment in you? Or something worse, like feelings of inadequacy?
What do you think? Do new relationships have a shot during opiate detox? Can old relationships survive the transition?
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