Part three in our interview series checks in with a  mother who’s on methadone. A heroin-free addict, our methadone mama went through pregnancy on the juice. She talks about what it was like and gives some advice to other methadone mamas.

When did you start taking methadone? How long have you been on it?

1999. I started maintenance in December of 2000, and I’ve been on it ever since.

Were you already taking methadone when you got pregnant?

Yes.

What did the doctors tell you to expect as far as your pregnancy and the effects of methadone on the baby? Did they warn against anything in particular?

I don’t think my doctors ever told me anything about what to expect. They said that the baby was going to have to be in observation for up to three weeks after birth, and that she could suffer from any range of withdrawal symptoms. Like anything that was common with an adult could happen to her, too. They were basically watching out for seizures, low key stuff like tremors.

I was breastfeeding, and they thought that was great because that meant she could get a little bit of methadone through the breast milk.

But really, they didn’t really prepare me for anything. I didn’t know what to expect.

Was your baby born addicted to methadone or have to undergo a detox when she was born?

Yes, but she had a very easy time. They usually hold [babies born on methadone] for 21 days for observation, but they let her go 10 days early. They watched her for 10 days and she was asymptomatic. She started having little weird gagging reflex and sneezing. She was gagging and sneezing and her tremors got a little worse and they gave her a very minute dose of like .02 milligrams or something, it was just like three drops of a dropper of the DTO (diluted tincture of opium), and it was just for a couple days and then she was weaned off. I never went over 130 milligrams in my pregnancy, and I weighed 235 pounds, so it wasn’t considered too high, which is probably why it was so easy for her.

Since the baby was born, have you felt like being on methadone imposed itself at all or gotten in the way of parenting? Do you feel like it has helped you?

I question whether it has any effect on my energy level. I’m on 75 milligrams now. Especially at higher levels, you know, like when I was on 100 milligrams, I was tired all the time, but I found that even when I reduced my dose, I was still tired.

My husband seems to think that methadone is this horrible substance. He says it’s poison, toxic, you know, “What can you expect from something manufactured for Hitler?” He seems to think that my whole life would just turn around if I got off it. You know, my health would improve, I’d have more energy. He thinks it’s just all bad. He doesn’t recognize that there’s any benefits.

And you think there is?

I think I’m stuck right now, because now it’s like, I need to get off, but I can’t just quit today. I can’t say, “I’m tired of taking it,” and not take it anymore. So I have to weigh the benefits.

It did help me get clean, though. I mean, it’s not a miracle drug; I was at the point where I was ready to quit, and [methadone] made it that much easier. And I’m pretty solid on my feet these days; I’m not worried about having a relapse. I just wish there was an easier way to detox off of methadone.

Have you considered Suboxone?

I have, but I’d have to be at a much lower dose to switch over.

I actually was on it a long time ago, long before it was legal. I had a doctor in LA—I was in the music industry, and I had a lot of money—and he would go to Mexico for it and bring it back. It was Buprenex that I used then, intramuscularly, and he ended up going to prison for it. I pretty much abused that, but that wasn’t the one with the naloxone in it. I’ve never tried the sublingual tabs they have now.

Is there anything you want to pass along to women who are expecting and on methadone?

I guess just try to take it easy on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over it. There’s nothing you can do about it now. At least you can be clean and sober with your child, and take it one day at a time.

I previously interviewed a methadone addict and a buprenorphine study participant. Check it out!

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"Interview With a Methadone Mommy" posted in Addiction Recovery, Methadone, Suboxone, Suboxone Treatment.
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