Well! It’s been a while since I’ve made a post here, and I have missed y’all something terrible, but I can’t think of a better reason to break my writer’s block than this:

This week marks the six-month anniversaryof me beginning Suboxone treatment! Woot!

I can hardly believe that a half of a year has already passed, and so it seems like a good time to take a moment to reflect on where I came from, and where I am now.

Six months ago I was a huge mess. I was in constant pain, physically and emotionally. I’d been using opiates nearly every day for the previous year, progressing from hydrocodone to morphine and dilaudid. My life slowly and steadily constricted around me as I let go of people and activities I cared about because all I had energy for was getting high.

I dropped out of school, telling myself I’d take the quarter off to rest and get my health back - but that quarter stretched to another and another. Work wasn’t going well. I was unmotivated, lethargic and frankly, my attitude was total crap. Home life wasn’t much better - even my beloved daughter was starting to feel more like a burden to me than a joy. The worst, though, was the way I felt about myself.

I knew I was out of control. I put off paying bills because I needed drugs to stave off the dopesickness that constantly threatened to take me down. My tolerance grew so much over the previous summer that I couldn’t even get pain relief any longer, and getting high was out of the question. Over and over I tried to quit and suffered through the pain of withdrawals for days, sometimes even a week or more, only to use again at the first chance I had. Still, some twisted sense of pride kept me from admitting that I was in over my head and I needed help.

During this low-point, I became aware of this new drug called Suboxone, and it’s great potential to help people like me - opiate addicts. Did I call for help the first time I heard about it? Oh, no way. I was scared, and embarassed. But I was also intrigued, so I sought out information online. And the more stories I read, the more I became convinced that this drug could help me too.

So I finally made the call, and got into a treatment program and started taking Subxone. That was six months ago, and while it hasn’t always been smooth sailing, I definitely stopped my ship from sinking and steered it to safer waters. (to torture a metaphor, sorry!)

What does my life look like, six months into treatment? Well, I’m glad you asked, because things are great!

Because I chose, based on my substance abuse history and other mental-health issues, to go with a longer-term replacement type treatment with Subxone, I still take Suboxone every day. I’ve decreased my dose quite a bit, with an eye toward tapering off completely in the next six to eight months. I also go to therapy once a week, and I have a “recovery plan” that keeps me involved in activities that are healthy and fun - like yoga, dance, swimming, writing, and blogging.

Family life is so much better. The best thing is that I can now handle the inevitable rough-patches without turning to drugs, and sometimes I even manage to hold on to my peace of mind during the hard times. I’ve navigated some serious health issues lately without completely losing my balance, and I’m quite proud of that. I’m doing better at work too, and have been given new responsibilites that have made my job fun again.

The thing I’m most proud of, though, is that I returned to school for the Spring quarter and if all goes well, I will finally complete my Associate of Arts degree after only 15 years!!! Well, not that I was in school for that whole time, LOL, but it did take me a while. The class I’m taking this quarter should complete my degree, and I can transfer to University next year. I can not tell you how incredibly good it feels to be getting on with my life.

And, more than just getting on with life, I have goals again. Addiction steals our goals, our hopes and dreams, sometimes to the point that the only thing we’re living for is the next opportunity to get high. That is such an incredibly painful way to live, so I’m beyond happy to have found that I don’t have to live that way anymore. Nobody has to live like that - there’s help for us all.

Suboxone didn’t do all the work for me, but I doubt I could have come this far this quickly without it. If you’ve been thinking about calling, wondering if this drug could help you too - all I can say is Make The Call. I sincerely believe you won’t regret it.

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"Happy Half-Birthday to Me!" posted in Addiction, Addiction Recovery, Detox, Drug Withdrawal, Opiates, Prescription Drug Addiction, Suboxone, Suboxone Treatment.
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