I was reading the Diary of a Quitter the other day and I was struck by her honesty. Now a great many of her posts pass along the inspiration that she has come across in her reading, through other blogs, from therapy, friends and other sources of support and these are great and helpful in her own way. But when she admits as she does in her posts “Hard to Fight It” and “The Honeymoon is Over” that recovery is not all pink clouds and happy reclamations of life, love and happiness.

She says: “Those first few months after I started Suboxone treatment were filled with the excitement of doing something new, plus the motivation of desperation. Now, the newness has worn off and I’m left here with myself and my habits and no easy way out.

“So it is time for me to recommit myself to this process of healing. This point, right here, is the point where I usually quit. Where the inspiration has run out and the goal is still out of sight, I give up. I start in with the self-sabotage, craftily stirring up some kind of drama so that when I do quit, it looks like events have conspired to foil me, once again.”

Even though Suboxone promises the instant gratification of renewed mental clarity (that you may not have even realized that you lost during your prescription painkiller addiction), it has no cure for that plateau that happens to all of us a few months or, for some, a few weeks into a new venture. Call it boredom, call it depression, call it fatigue. There are so many reasons why we give up. It’s being honest with ourselves and recognizing our patterns, our triggers and the emotions that preclude a relapse that help us to fight them. By not giving in, by distracting ourselves until the feeling passes, by recognizing the seriousness of the situation and choosing not to use right now, today, and making the same decision when tomorrow comes, we can get through these feeling when they come and go to sleep each night knowing that this is ongoing process and that it doesn’t have to overwhelm us, that we have the choice to get through it the best way we can, no matter how that is.

There are a number of blogs out there written by women who are married to addicts, mothers of  junkies or otherwise connected (and deeply scarred by) someone else’s addiction. Among my favorites are The Junky’s Wife, Married to an Addict, Married to My Ex, and Mother to an Addict. Whether or not the writer is still married, suffering from codependency or her own addiction issues or living with multiple family members who are addicts and alcoholics, each of these blogs have one thing in common: they are honest. Each one expresses frustration, anger, betrayal, real love, confusion, the best intentions and the worst outcomes. In short, each one gives a very real portrayal of what it’s like to love someone who is married to addiction.

Even if the addict in your life is aware of their problem, open to treatment and even attempting treatment with methadone maintenance or a Suboxone detox, their troubles—and yours—are far from over. Relapses can and do still happen. These may be one-time slips or binges that last for days and they can be even more dangerous than maintaining a regular habit because the body’s tolerance is different than the addict remembers. Overdose in these situations is exceedingly common, especially for those who are addicted to opiates and prescription painkillers. Mixing drugs is always a dangerous thing in any context and for those who are on a maintenance or medical detox program, a relapse almost always means the introduction or re-introduction of a different drug or drugs into the system.

Feeling like a cop in your own home is never pleasant. Addiction usually comes with quite a bit of lying, even in the bold face of evidence supporting the opposite assertion and this can take quite a toll on any relationship. It’s difficult to rebuild trust, to constantly question whether or not someone is high when they say they’re tired or if that $20 you can’t find is merely lost in a jeans pocket somewhere or was stolen by your loved one. For the writers of these blogs, they handle these issues by blogging about it and find support through their readers, creating an online support group that’s available 24 hours a day.

Note: I’m aware of the fact that all of the blogs I picked out were written by women. I actually searched out similar blogs penned by men who love female addicts, but found none. Do they exist? Most likely. It certainly happens in life often enough. If anyone knows of any blogs in this category penned by men, by all means, let me know!

There are two excellent blogs out there run by a rad lady in recovery named Erin. One is What Winners Do and the other is her latest addition to the recovery blogging family, The Suboxone Help Spot.

Even though Erin does not take Suboxone personally as a part of her recovery process, she catalogues her personal experience with recovery in What Winners Do and has also started a support forum called a blog designed for anyone associated with Suboxone. She defines anyone associated with Suboxone as including “active addicts who are contemplating beginning Suboxone treatment, those recovering addicts who are currently in Suboxone treatment, Methadone patients who are trying to make the switch over to Suboxone treatment, and also those who have loved ones that are on a Suboxone treatment program.”

Erin further goes on to describe how she came to be a part of the online Suboxone support system. Relating how she had purchased Suboxone on the street when she was living the life of an addict and abused the drug, she wrote about the potential problems that those who take the drug to detox off of other opiates might experience. She got such a large response, that she decided to be a part of the solution instead of just defining the problem.

She says: “The Suboxone Help Spot is a place where those who have opted for a medically assisted recovery program can come and be completely open and honest about their recovery without the fear of being judged by those who do not agree with this type of recovery approach.”

If you are currently taking Suboxone to detox off of opiates or treat an prescription painkiller addiction or if someone you are close to is taking Suboxone, then check in with Erin from time to time or subscribe to her feeds. She’s raw, she’s honest and so much of what she has to say is relevant in the lives of those who are dealing with addiction and recovery on a day-to-day basis and through the forums, you might find the answers you’re looking for and a place to share your own experiences.